Time Alone

I love my husband, my daughters, my home and my church, but not always in that order. There are times when I just long for a few blessed moments to myself. I get the most energized when I am by myself, but I am rarely alone. Until now.

My husband and daughters are in a weeklong vacation to visit my in-laws, and for the first time in my over 11 years of being a mom, I have stayed behind. Yes, I suffered great anxiety and guilt in the weeks leading to the day they were leaving. There were several moments where I almost changed my mind about my decision, but deep down I just knew I needed a break.

It is hard to explain the need for a break to some people. They see you alone and most just assume you need some company, some even get hurt or insulted if they realize you rather just be by yourself. But for me the need to be alone does not mean I hate people or don’t enjoy social interaction, it is the way I can find my center again and that ever elusive balance I’m constantly seeking.

I'm looking forward to the week.