Simple Tuesday

This is the last installment of Simple Tuesdays. I wanted to finish discussing the rest of the Forgiveness Myths Dr. Jennings discusses in his book. I encourage you to buy this BOOK; it really has made a major difference in my life.

Disclaimer: The words below are not mine originally, I'm offering a recap of some of the concepts presented, paraphrasing and using direct quotes from the book. I hope I am not breaking any copyright laws by doing this, and if somebody finds that I am please notify me immediately and I will take the post down.

Myth: Forgiveness Leads to Greater Vulnerability

A likely response of someone that has been seriously wronged or abused is to develop resentment and anger. Believe it or not, this is personally my biggest obstacle when trying to forgive somebody. When I am angry, I feel strong and less vulnerable. I struggle with this all the time. The idea of not having this anger or rage sometimes feel like we are losing power and we therefore become more vulnerable.

If we were to reason this through, however, we would realize that forgiving does not increase our vulnerability. If somebody robs our house and we forgive him, does that mean that we are going to leave our doors unlocked, or will not take extra precautions? In reality, we are probably now more aware and alert and take more precautions.

Another problem of holding on to bitterness and anger is that it makes us overly sensitive and we become emotional time bombs that go off at the slightest touch.

Dr. Jennings gives the analogy of someone that went to the beach and came back home with a severe sunburn. If their child decided to jump on their back or their husband decided to give them a hug, they will probably scream in anger and pain and push them away. In addition, if somebody actually purposely slapped their back, that person would probably get more than they even deserve for their transgression.

When we forgive, we heal the emotional sunburns in our hearts and are able to enjoy other experiences without pain or irritation.

Myth: Forgiving Someone Means That What that Person Did Was OK

Sometimes we hesitate to forgive others in our hearts because we do not want to give he other person the impression that what they did was OK. This comes from the mis-understanding that sin is a legal problem and that forgiveness is judicial act, therefore, when you forgive – poof – the record is erased.

What we need to remember is that sin (selfish bad acts) damages the sinner, and even if the sinner is forgiven, the effect has already occurred. Imagine a person that murders someone. The family of the victim could choose to genuinely forgive the murderer, however, the effect of his act has already occurred. The murderer might even repent, and experience restoration of his heart and mind; however, most likely, he will still have to suffer the consequences of their actions.

When we forgive, we are not endorsing unhealthy behavior; we are just demonstrating the only healthy response.

Myth: Forgiving means that the Guilty person Gets Away with it

This myth is closely related to the previously discussed one except it deals more with forgiving somebody when one perceives they will not be getting the consequences they deserve. When no penalty exists, we have difficulty forgiving, because it seems nobody is holding the sinner accountable.

Again, the key is to remember that sin damages the sinner. Dr. Jennings gives a simple example. If your husband decides, he will not take the time to brush his teeth so he has an extra couple of minutes in the morning, would you think he was getting a better deal? Of course not, his teeth would decay. In the same way, people that continuously override their conscience and continue sinning are destroying their soul. These people struggle with their self-esteem and self-worth and would be more likely to succumb to guilt, depression and anxiety.

Sin damages us. The only way to repair the damage is to cooperate with God for the healing and transformation of our mind. Forgiving others is one of the steps we can take to begin that restoration.

Myth: God’s Forgiveness Equals Salvation

In the context of our relationship with God, this myth is very damaging. It’s closely related to the myth I discussed a couple of weeks ago “God does not forgive us until we plead forgiveness”.

Salvation requires not only God forgiveness but also repentance on the part of the sinner. Even though God forgives us, we will not be saved unless we open our hearts to God’s forgiveness and have a change of heart (repent). Only when forgiveness and repentance are present can reconciliation with God occur.

The misunderstanding that Christ came to deliver us from the consequences of sins is very damaging. Christians all over the planet cling to this believe without feeling the real burden for the sins they are committing. The believe that God was not free to forgive unless some recompense was offered is a mis-representation of the true mission of Christ.

What God is trying to accomplish in our lives is the healing and transformation of our mind. Accepting Christ as our Savior opens up our minds and leads us to experience the burden of the sins we commit which in turn leads to repentance and true restoration of God’s image in our lives.

This concludes the mini-series Simple Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed the concepts discussed. Did you find it helpful? It certainly made me look at the issue of forgiveness in a new light.

Have a great Tuesday!