The drama group my daughter Kaitlin is part of at church just started putting together a skit to the music of a Christian song by Matthew West – The Motions.
I have not kept very up to date on contemporary Christian (I have been listening more to Pulse FM to remedy that) music so last week was the first time I heard the song.
“I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion
Inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”
Since then, I have listened to the song several times on the radio. It has hit a chord with me. The lyrics pretty much depict where my life is at right now. Everyday I follow the same routine. I get up and do things in pretty much the same order each time. I do not think about it, I just do it. On the way to school sometimes the girls ask me what exit we are up to and I cannot answer them. I do not know. I am on autopilot, on cruise control. The only time I stop and take notice is when something is off.
I realize several factors have lead to this season in my life. One of them is fear to appear vulnerable, to get hurt. What if I pour my heart and all my energy into improving my marriage and he does not do the same? What if people respond negatively to my efforts to pump life back into my ministry at church?
This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the
Nothingness of life.
“I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion
Inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”
Since then, I have listened to the song several times on the radio. It has hit a chord with me. The lyrics pretty much depict where my life is at right now. Everyday I follow the same routine. I get up and do things in pretty much the same order each time. I do not think about it, I just do it. On the way to school sometimes the girls ask me what exit we are up to and I cannot answer them. I do not know. I am on autopilot, on cruise control. The only time I stop and take notice is when something is off.
I realize several factors have lead to this season in my life. One of them is fear to appear vulnerable, to get hurt. What if I pour my heart and all my energy into improving my marriage and he does not do the same? What if people respond negatively to my efforts to pump life back into my ministry at church?
This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the
Nothingness of life.
I am a passionate person by nature, a choleric, by older psychology terms. I feel deep and raw emotions. I get frustrated with myself when I am doing the bare minimum, just getting by. How did I get here? Is it that I am trying to balance too many things at once? Is it that I am afraid to bite the bullet and just get out of my comfort zone and start making a change?
No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the
Nothingness of this life.
Take me all the way.
I need to refocus, to re-discover the little things that bring me joy, what I’m passionate about. What do you do when you find yourself just going through the motions?
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